Couric, Curds and Cancer

I was working out in the dinky, musty gym at my mom's apartment complex this morning - much-needed exercise considering the fact that spending time here in the land of cheese curds and bratwurst does not exactly do wonders for my diet - with an old guy on a stationary bike who was watching "The View" on the gym's lone television. Lo and behold, Katie Couric was the first guest! She was there to talk about Stand Up To Cancer. Hooray!

Okay so I just have to say, first and foremost, that it was so great to see Katie on morning television again. As much as I want her to succeed on the CBS Evening News, because she is truly trying to break a barrier being a female anchor in that time slot and I respect that, she really belongs on morning television. Sigh. Well anyway -

Okay I also have to admit that I only caught her about mid-way through her interview, so I didn't get to hear the whole thing but I'm sure it will be posted on YouTube or the SU2C website later today. But anyway -

It just made me happy. Katie talked about the Constellation campaign, where you can name a star for a cancer survivor for just $1. She talked about some other aspects of the program that weren't news to me, but I was delighted to see her this morning.

What is news? In case you haven't heard, there is a stellar line-up being formed for the TV special. In addition to co-hosts Katie Couric, Charles Gibson and Brian Williams, there will be a ton of other great celebs in attendance. Check it: Casey Affleck, Dana Delany, America Ferrera, Danica Patrick, Charlize Theron, Jennifer Aniston, Sally Field, Christina Ricci, Goran Visnjic, Christina Applegate, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Forest Whitaker, Kirsten Dunst, Neil Patrick Harris, Homer and Marge Simpson (love that they are included in the press release!), Josh Brolin, Salma Hayek, David Cook (whose brother is battling brain cancer), Elle Fanning, Scarlett Johansson, Meryl Streep, Jon Favreau, Masi Oka, and Hilary Swank. Phew! The line-up also includes celebrity cancer survivors Fran Drescher, Robin Roberts, Lance Armstrong, and Elizabeth Edwards.

I'm sure they will have many more celebrities join these ranks, and I can't wait to see this list continue to grow.

Good stuff all around! Now back to my cheese curds...

A Dear John Letter

Dear John,

Four years ago today, we had a really sucky day, didn’t we.

Surreally sucky, in fact. I got mom’s call around 6:00am – the dreaded call that I somehow knew was coming that morning. I rolled out of bed, crawling into my teal Gap hoodie that I’ve had since high school – a sweatshirt in July seems crazy I know, but I needed the comfort – and headed to the hospital. I got there, and Mom was there, and you were there. But you weren’t really. Your body was, but you’d already peaced out. So to speak.

But I won’t dwell on that day. Because today is a better 24th of July. We’re still sad, Mom and I. We still had tears in our eyes as we headed to the outlet mall this morning, talking about how you would want us to be bargain-hunting today. Not that we needed anything at the outlets – we’re just trying to distract ourselves. And that’s okay.

The air is thick with you today. And that’s okay too.

At the Coach outlet, Mom treated herself to a good lookin’ signature tote bag – first quality, not the crap they’re making for the outlets these days – with purple patent leather trim. The saleslady who helped us was named Hannah. We took that as a sign that you were with us.

Wherever you are – and I do believe that you are still somewhere in this universe, in some capacity – I hope you are happy, and at peace. I hope you have retained your passion and your intellect and your integrity and your quirks (well, most of them anyway).

I hope you know how much we love you, and will always love you.

From Michigan, then, where Mom is finding much-deserved happiness – though I’m sure that’s not news to you,

Love,
Jennifer

Anniversary Week

Hello from the great state of Michigan!

I am now the proud recipient of a student visa (woohoo!) and am spending a few more days with my mom, trying my best to cheer on the Cubs, eat brats, and get blizzards at the DQ - all cherished American pastimes, at least to me - until I return to London next week.

As for this week, it's a big one for me and my mom. A big, sad one. This is the John Anniversary Week. He and my mom were married (after 18 years of domestic partnership) on July 21 and he died a week later, on July 28. Tomorrow marks the 4th anniversary of his death - and just typing that makes my heart beat a little faster and sends nervous warmth from my heart through my chest down through my arms to my fingertips.

Mom and I got through the wedding anniversary okay. We distracted ourselves by driving to Chicago since my visa appointment was the next day. Tomorrow, for the other anniversary, we will be going outlet shopping, one of our family traditions. Really, our most celebrated family tradition.

John instilled in us a passion for bargain-hunting. He used to tear through the "last chance rack" at the Land's End outlet in Schaumburg, Illinois for dress shirts he could wear to work. For only $5 each, he found dozens of crisp, new Oxford shirts that he wore with a jacket and tie to teach at a boys' school on the Upper East Side of New York City. What landed these nice, clean shirts on the "last chance rack"? These were the shirts that others had had monogrammed with their initials, and then returned to Land's End for whatever reason. Except for the embroidered letters, they were in perfect condition.

Who would want a shirt with someone else's monogram? Well, for 5 bucks and a few laughs, John did. And his students loved him for it. Every day, the boys would file into his classroom and peel back his jacket to reveal the monogram of the day. They never tired of the routine, because the initials were always different. After years of devoted outlet shopping, John had amassed a vast collection of impressively diverse initials. He even found a couple shirts with his own initials - JMH - on them! (Though the boys didn't think those were as funny.)

My mom and I visited the Land's End outlet in Schaumburg when we were in town a few days ago. We scoured the store, finally finding the "last chance rack" buried in with the women's clearance. The dinky rack held only two monogrammed robes (which is somehow a lot less amusing than shirts to me), a hot pink down vest (waaay out of season, that), a pair of jeans that looked like they were made in 1982, and a pair of elastic-waist pants that my grandmother would love. No crisp dress shirts bearing the initials of people we would never know, or, coincidentally, of people we did. No once-in-a-lifetime bargain of a butter yellow short-sleeved polo shirt with "JMH" tastefully embroidered on the chest.

"I guess things change," my mom said.

I guess they must, at some point. And that's okay.

So Much to Learn, So Little Time

All of a sudden it's late July, and I am heading back to the States to visit my family (and, fingers crossed, procure my student visa). My school year is fast approaching, and I am trying not to get cold feet as I ponder jumping into my year-long MBA program two months from now. Instead, I think about these past months - my "independent study time" as I have called them, when I'm not calling myself a lady of leisure or domestic goddess. I almost wish I could say I have gotten bored, or am ready for more structure in my life. But the truth is, this time has been amazing for me and I'm not ready to let it go.

I still have so much to learn! I still have so many books to read! As I began packing to head home, I must have cycled through four or five different cancer books to take on the plane, all of which I want to have under my belt before I start school (and thus no longer have time for any reading other than school reading... sigh). Then I signed into Amazon and ordered another one. Will I have time to do all this reading? No. But I will get to it all eventually, and chronicle it here.

In other news, I was able to interview Sherry Lansing, the former CEO of Paramount Pictures who is working on Stand Up To Cancer. The interview will be published on Look to the Stars soon, and I can't wait for it to be out there in cyberspace! So keep your eyes peeled...

Must get back to packing. Maybe then I'll have some time to read.

Independence Day

To my fellow Americans...

Happy 4th of July!

This is my first 4th in England and I will be celebrating by attending a concert for the Hoodoo Gurus, an 80s rock band from Australia. Crikey! All I want is a brat and a Bud!

I will also be on vacation from July 6-16, but back in action thereafter.

Cheers and ciao!

Colon Cancer Featured on WebMD

I visited WebMD yesterday and was surprised but happy - at first - to see that "Colon Cancer Symptoms" was one of the four featured article tabs (along with an article about how watermelon has Viagra-like effects... Happy 4th of July!) on the front page. How great that they are spotlighting colon cancer, I thought to myself. I clicked the tab, and a handsome and pensive man appeared next to the words "Colon Cancer Symptoms" and "Symptoms usually appear in later stages. Here's what to look for."

A further click led me to the symptoms section of WebMD's Colorectal Cancer Health Center. And again, my initial reaction was, "Wowee! Look at all this great info!" It is a good resource, with information that would be very helpful to someone who is experiencing the obvious symptoms of late-stage colon cancer, or whom has been diagnosed and needs to learn about the disease fast.

But basically, a site like this is not going to help people be any less afraid of colon cancer (or other cancers, if they are similarly discussed, which I assume they are). I know I have to understand that WebMD exists to give unbiased, factual information - and with cancer, the facts are often very, very hard to hear. So I can't wholly blame the website. It just made me feel slightly defeated, I must admit.

I wish that the site could focus more on prevention, especially with colon cancer because it is highly preventable when people are appropriately screened. Instead, the "Prevention" section is buried between "Treatment Overview" and "Home Treatment," which doesn't seem to make a lot of sense.

This issue is bigger than me. After all, who funds WebMD? How does the site make money? Oh, I know! They get revenue from all the pharmaceutical companies who advertise their drugs! And why would drug companies want to advertise on a site that says, "You can prevent this disease from reaching late stages just by getting screened regularly"? Oh. They wouldn't. Huh.

Sigh. Alright, well, moving on.

The Doctor Factor Indeed

There is one more article from the June 23 issue of Newsweek that I have to write about, as it strikes a chord with me and I know it would strike a similar chord with many of the cancer survivors with whom I have worked as an advocate. The Doctor Factor is an important article that raises the issue of compassionate care.

I will say right now that I never met my stepdad John's oncologist. From the way John and my mom would describe this guy, he was big, gruff, and all business. I don’t think he was particularly offensive, but he did not exactly ooze bedside manner either. I'm sure he treated John as best he could, though the more I learn about chemo cocktails and New York's more prominent oncologists (who treated many of my colon cancer survivor friends), the more I feel like this guy was just not invested in John's treatment. Though, to give the oncologist the benefit of the doubt, John's cancer might have been so advanced there was really not much that could have been done beyond extending his life the 20 months that his generic chemo did. We never asked what stage he was - John made that choice and we had to support him in it. So, there's a lot I will never know.

What I do know is that many of my survivor friends went to the same handful of doctors, and have great relationships with them. I have never met a survivor who has heard of John’s oncologist. I have met some of these other doctors and they are absolutely wonderful people. Newsweek profiles a few more fabulous-sounding doctors, from D.C., New York and Boston. The article discusses the importance of genuine doctor-patient bonding, and how these relationships enrich the treatment experience for both parties. Compassionate doctors motivate patients to fight harder. Compassionate doctors don't spout pessimistic statistics. Being a compassionate doctor prevents burnout.

So why do so many doctors lack the very bedside manner that never fails to positively contribute to their patients' journey?

I can't imagine what being an oncologist is like, and I could never do it. But, trying to put myself in that position to answer my own questions, I suppose it's easier to not engage. I mean, how many patients do these doctors have, with how many different cancers, at how many stages? How can you possibly invest personally in everyone?

But how can you not? When I was the coordinator of the NYC chapter of the Colon Cancer Alliance, there were nights when I would come home from running a volunteer meeting and just cry my eyes out. The stories that came out of this one group of people were so surreal, so overwhelming. Stories of miracle responses to chemo, dozens of surgeries, fighting insurance companies. Stories of survival. Stories that bring goosebumps to my arms as I type - because I knew these people. I wanted to know them, wanted to befriend them, wanted to connect with them. And these connections have enriched my life more than anything.

This post is not a tsk tsk to oncologists who lack social skills or choose not to use them with their patients. Everyone handles tough life stuff differently, and the fact that there are people out there who choose to devote their lives to treating cancer patients is miraculous in itself. But I'm glad that Newsweek is making a point that compassionate care does make a difference. Because it does.

Here is What Cancer is, By the Way.

I have to point out this article (and its multimedia incarnation online) from the June 23 issue of Newsweek. The article is cowritten by Robert A. Weinberg - a name I knew sounded familiar to me - the author of One Renegade Cell, one of the books on my reading list. And frankly, after reading this article, I'm not sure I even need the book (but of course I will). This article gives a great, concise, easy to understand introduction to what cancer is, how it starts, and the lifestyle choices that are in our control to lessen our chances of getting it.

One of my initial motivations for starting this blog was that I, a passionate cancer advocate, could not answer this simple question: What is cancer?

I'm getting there though, and I could probably explain it myself, because for such a complex disease, it starts quite simply - but I'll leave it to Dr. Weinberg this time:

"All tumors begin with one renegade cell [and yes, quoting his own book title is what led me to realize who he was]. Initially the cell is just one of about 30 trillion or so in the body. It looks no different from the cells around it, and, like those cells, it divides only if the organ it's part of needs it to divide. Then, even though the organ around it has enough cells, the renegade cell begins to multiply uncontrollably: one cell becomes two, two become four, four become eight, until the descendants are beyond counting."

It sounds so simple, doesn't it? No wonder Nixon declared the War on Cancer in 1971 - a disease that starts with just one stupid, ugly, mutant cell with a bad attitude should be easy enough to cure, right?

Yeah, not so much.

So what can we do, Dr. Weinberg? He says we can stop smoking (duh), eat foods that don't have a bunch of creepy chemicals in them (duh), and get off our butts on a regular basis (duh). This is not news to me, and it's probably not news to you. But apparently Americans can't hear this enough - our most present cancers (breast, colon, prostate) occur at a fraction of our rate in other parts of the world.

This article may not be groundbreaking, but I sure hope a lot of people read it. If my cancer reading has taught me anything, it's that this disease has a nasty way of striking at random and without bias. But there are fundamental things we can do to prevent cancer - and it goes without saying that we need to be doing them.

I suppose I won't be going out for fish 'n chips for dinner after all.