The Doctor Factor Indeed

There is one more article from the June 23 issue of Newsweek that I have to write about, as it strikes a chord with me and I know it would strike a similar chord with many of the cancer survivors with whom I have worked as an advocate. The Doctor Factor is an important article that raises the issue of compassionate care.

I will say right now that I never met my stepdad John's oncologist. From the way John and my mom would describe this guy, he was big, gruff, and all business. I don’t think he was particularly offensive, but he did not exactly ooze bedside manner either. I'm sure he treated John as best he could, though the more I learn about chemo cocktails and New York's more prominent oncologists (who treated many of my colon cancer survivor friends), the more I feel like this guy was just not invested in John's treatment. Though, to give the oncologist the benefit of the doubt, John's cancer might have been so advanced there was really not much that could have been done beyond extending his life the 20 months that his generic chemo did. We never asked what stage he was - John made that choice and we had to support him in it. So, there's a lot I will never know.

What I do know is that many of my survivor friends went to the same handful of doctors, and have great relationships with them. I have never met a survivor who has heard of John’s oncologist. I have met some of these other doctors and they are absolutely wonderful people. Newsweek profiles a few more fabulous-sounding doctors, from D.C., New York and Boston. The article discusses the importance of genuine doctor-patient bonding, and how these relationships enrich the treatment experience for both parties. Compassionate doctors motivate patients to fight harder. Compassionate doctors don't spout pessimistic statistics. Being a compassionate doctor prevents burnout.

So why do so many doctors lack the very bedside manner that never fails to positively contribute to their patients' journey?

I can't imagine what being an oncologist is like, and I could never do it. But, trying to put myself in that position to answer my own questions, I suppose it's easier to not engage. I mean, how many patients do these doctors have, with how many different cancers, at how many stages? How can you possibly invest personally in everyone?

But how can you not? When I was the coordinator of the NYC chapter of the Colon Cancer Alliance, there were nights when I would come home from running a volunteer meeting and just cry my eyes out. The stories that came out of this one group of people were so surreal, so overwhelming. Stories of miracle responses to chemo, dozens of surgeries, fighting insurance companies. Stories of survival. Stories that bring goosebumps to my arms as I type - because I knew these people. I wanted to know them, wanted to befriend them, wanted to connect with them. And these connections have enriched my life more than anything.

This post is not a tsk tsk to oncologists who lack social skills or choose not to use them with their patients. Everyone handles tough life stuff differently, and the fact that there are people out there who choose to devote their lives to treating cancer patients is miraculous in itself. But I'm glad that Newsweek is making a point that compassionate care does make a difference. Because it does.